Man said son I’ll blow up everything between your ears
You got to face bout 20 years.
We weren’t meant to stay the same
And now from this cell
I’ve a story to tell…
Cumberland Mountain Number Nine
John Thomas Crain, songwriter
The Charlie Daniels Band
King Rat Dad
I was talking to this old guy once upon a time, it was when I was younger, In fact we were drinking a little drink. I was pissing and moaning about my life. All of a sudden, he start laughing and laughing. I waited for him to stop and ask what’s so funny? You, he says. Why is that I retort.
Let me tell you a true story. About my existence. First, my dad died before I was three. Mom did her best, but you know how that shit flows. I soon discovered cigarettes, booze, women, rock & roll, and pot etc. And guess what I liked ever damn one of them. And wished for more. And keep searching for more. Then right out of high school I become a dad. Nineteen and dazed and confused. So, what do I do? I buckled down and do what is right. We get married. She drinks just enough. Weekends, only weekends. But there were exceptions. Like if you turn the light on your car and the lights come on. Good enough! But that was the only one. Or if someone died. Maybe birthdays. Or if you were invited to a wedding. That till death do us part lasted 3.5 years. There were issues. Many issues. I will not lay blame. I did my share. We were young. I would do it again.
Then along came a Cherry Spider that loved the vino cider. She was hot, older, an artist, had money. She absolutely loved to party. Do you feel the neon light. Let’s boogie aboard. We had so much fun I want to do it right now. The smartest human being I’ve had the pleasure of knowing. We are still undefeated at Trivial Pursuit. I knew Sports and Leisure and she knew everything else. And I said she was an artist. Well, artistic doesn’t even begin to describe her talents. She could draw too. Just kiddin’. Watercolors, oils, pastels, sculpting, woodworking, cross stitch, knit, drink and do coke. My kind of woman. Plus, the other thing. Zoom, zoom. I still have some of her paintings. Let’s see number 2 lasted 1.5 years. I miss her and wish I could see her. She has departed. Love you.
One other thing. While I was married to 2 my best friend was killed at the plant, we worked in. I went a little crazy. You know, treatment, AA, and relapse. Twenty-five? Problem with substances. Get out of here. I had no intentions of stopping anything. I was just going to get out of trouble and keep on trucking. So, I did.
Next 3. She did not do any kind of chemicals. Baptist, loaded father, good looking, somewhat of a prude. But no partying. Awesome, she will fix me. Plus, I could be the boss. Old school young lady. Love it. I quit everything. Found me a good one here. Time to grow up. So, I did. For 8 years. Seven of those we were married. Until 4.
4. what do I say about 4. More. No more. There you go. But thanks for the memories darling. It was a gas. But alas, I will bypass you ass. Damn shame too. A reverse diamond in the rough. But she was tough. And she gave me Shelby. I’ll give her a get out of jail forever on that one. Even though she is not speaking to me at the present. Due to 4. And probably the reason Jennifer doesn’t either if the truth be known. But the world keeps rocking’ and I keep knocking’. So, to speak. And we will not speak of Leak.
So quit pissing and moaning. There’s more. Let me spin you a tail of love and laughter, of seeking for hereafter, a true story of a life, a wife or 4 a smile only one, and a spirit once three, now thee, hee-hee. You may think it bad or sad, no way dad, it was rad. It was my launch pad comrade. And I was never a dead-beat dad. We all screw up a tad. So how did I wind up in dad Stalingrad. Con GRAD. Nothing is iron clad. You’ll see one day both of you will see Galahad Dad and Grand Dad. A true nomad. Who was Einstein’s undergrad, who was once a lad, an Olympiad, who provided a doodad, a sketch pad, for you for both of you tads. Sad? Mad? Memories never go bad. No expiration my lad.
So, looking in the mirror and realize you can change you and your life. Change and change again. Fuck it, every now and then you got to say it. Let if feel good. Where are you at this moment?
Listen to this old man. YOU ARE EXACTLY WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO BE! There are no mistakes.
And so, this is the moment girls. Write it down. And it will happen. Someone is listening!
This is a cheer for all teachers, moms, orange banana’s, college grads, and models. The future has arrived. And dad has an idea that all Riyadh’s are not created equal.
Try to get along. Btw, Jenn, Shelby hates the Vols. Roll tide Shell.
I love you….