Stephen King authored a book called Insomnia. I have read it a couple of times. I have read most of his books, like most everyone else. I am not unique. Shucks! When I first read it, I remember thinking to myself, this is not his usual book. But opinions are like me, an asshole. I could relate at once to the book because I have always had bouts of insomnia. And I know most of you have too. In fact, I have it right now! It is 2:23 a.m. February 2, 2016. I feel asleep around 11 p.m. on the couch watching Netflix woke up 30 minutes ago. Turned off all the lights and went to bed. Why am I up now??  Wish I knew. But I do know, and Mr. King knows too. I cannot stop my mind from thinking.  

Which for some odd reason reminds me of the Eagles song Wasted Time. 

The last line is key to me. The hours go by like minutes. If you have ever had trouble sleeping…. ditto… 

But there is a kicker…. bonus points….and you do get extra miles…. hot shit…. give me some…. 

I do not know if you are ready. Do you think you deserve more knowledge? But you said it was your job to share. Well, aren’t we the little manipulator? Sorry! They always said I was a smart ass, better than being a dumbass. 

They are no secrets, really. Get to the point damn it. I will. Patience is a virtue. That is bullshit. Prolly! Need to turn spell check on. Can you turn it on? Know you must click somewhere. Oh, now I remember. Remember what? Everything! 

What were we talking about? You said you had a secret. I did not say that. I said there are no secrets. And please do not ever tell me a secret. Why? Cause I cannot keep a secret. Who are you talking too? YOU! Yoo-hoo! I like that too. 

Sorry! My mind is fucked up sometimes. Oh yes, Insomnia, I have gone four days without sleeping a wink. Seriously? No, I made that shit up. I just like making shit up. Prove it. I will try.  

Have you ever been drunk? I have. Tell me something I do not know. Have you ever drunk yourself sober? No. Well I have. Impossible you say. Want to bet. Can I get a show of hands? No? Let me be the first.  

I have gone three days that I remember, drinking and with the correct mixture of chemicals without passing out. What day is this anyway? What time is it? Wow, this is far out???  The four days I went were without help of any stimulants that I remember. But I do remember this. At some point, you quit worrying about it and just enjoy it. Because? You become delirious. You see shadows. You get weird thoughts. Everything is funny. Funny ha-ha that is. You become a comedian in fact and let your hair down. Everyone looks at you funny, and says something like, are you okay. And you just grin. Cause that is about all you can do. Cause you are in a good mood. That is the only way I can describe it. Deliriously happy! And you just enjoy the ride. And I bet you a dollar to a donut that Mr. Mercedes would tell you the same.  

So, get to the point. Okay, I will. Why worry about it? I do not worry about stuff. Well, okay sometimes big stuff. What is big stuff to you? Someone dies. Oh, you worry that someone dies. Sure. Can you control that? No, of course not. Then why worry? That person who died is trying to tell you something. WTF? Who are you talking too? I forgot. Do you like Perry’s wife? Oh, excuse me, oh you are a just a bush. A burning bush??? No, already been done. Think of something else. Give me a minute. I am lonely. Huh? Do you ever get lonely? Sure. I wish someone loved me. I love you! Love you too! Did you ever stop to think? Think about what? Stuff? Here we go again! I like that song too. You are getting on my nervous…inside joke! If you get tired enough, you WILL go to sleep. When??????  

This insomnia is fun. It made me write stupid shit like that and not worry about what anybody thinks. So, it must be a good thing. In fact, it makes me feel Free…. 



Published by @purplehayes

Blogger, writer, father. Thanks for all your support. I hope you'll continue to spread the word. What If We're Already in Heaven Read if free with Kindle Unlimited. Death Wishes A Short Story also available on Kindle Unlimited RGH

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